Loren Connors & Suzanne Langille – I Wish I didn’t Dream (CD Northern Spy)
Although maybe inspired by paintings from M P Landis (there’s reproductions of his work in the digipak) or a wistful producer’s memory, I Wish I didn’t Dream sounds most of all as a very intimate look into Langille’s inner world, almost as if her best kept secrets now really had to be thrown out and shared with the unexpected listener in the form of spaced out silhouettes.
I absorb, she murmurs on ‘My Skin is a Membrane’, and soon we witness the consequences of the poison being absorbed but the damage is done then, the venom starts to work. Tortured by dreams one can feel the pain and struggles as Langille tries to escape them. The frustration makes her voice sounds wicked, throwing curses during the moments of silence between the mutilated guitar strokes, but fragments of long forgotten friendship cannot hide the grief of loss and letting go. “Just find your shoes” brings a realistic and terrifying picture of how a simple means to a solution becomes the inhibiting and paralyzing effect as described in many dreams.
Included with the digipak comes a booklet with paintings by Landis, 14 in total, same as the number of tracks. Even more intriguing is the story on early childhood memories by critic and producer Kurt Gottschalk (Wire contributor as well) where he goes back to ultimately loose himself in Syracuse, a mediocre town, which in the story slowly becomes the center of the universe. Gottschalk murmurs about the outbreak, of course resulting in failure in many ways as he already had realized, most notably because escapes to find one self in perfect anonymity and desolation, there still are one’s own thoughts. And as it is described in the same haunting way as the dreams Langille is trying to run from the story in a strange way supports the sadness of the music.
Connor’s guitar play is heavily processed and makes this recording sounding highly experimental as if it was made high on drugs or alcohol, to be prepared for whatever there was to come. And during this exorcism, Connors is just way further out, free to do whatever he wants and it doesn’t even matter anymore, and somewhere along the way roles changed, where Connors started the process to accompany Langille, at the end he is no longer her dominant. Released in 2013 on Northern Spy Records. PvdG.